The Mean Cat This is one of my favorites. Some guy I worked with at Broadway Video said he was going to use it in his screenplay, so if you ever see it (doubtful--every damn person in the industry is working on a screenplay) just know that it's mine.

The Mean Cat Theory

You go to someone's house, and they have a cat. And as soon as you walk in, the cat is all up in your grill, rubbing against your leg, trying to get on your lap. The owner says, "I'm sorry, he always does this. Let me know if it gets annoying," and even if you like cats, after awhile, you're like, 'c'mon dude, give me some space.'

Or. You go to someone's house, and as soon as you walk in, the same thing happens: the cat is all over you. This person says, "Oh my god, I've never seen him do that before! He hates everyone!" And even if you don't like cats, you feel kind of special. Chosen. The mean cat likes you.

You and the mean cat, against the world! No one else could possibly understand.

Some people (myself included, I'm working on it) do this with relationships. Over and over again. They are the guests, and the boyfriends/girlfriends are the mean cats, over and over again.

The mean cat can be very alluring.

  ¶ 12:00 PM