Thursday, June 22, 2006
Another Theory to Help You with Your Life
There--I said it. Oreos suck because:
1) The outside part coats your teeth with dark brown goop.
2) The icing centers are waxy and leave a film on the roof of your mouth.
3) They really need milk to be good at all.
4) #3 doesn't help the lactarded.
5) What is the flavor here? Let's be honest. Baker's chocolate? Dirt?
If you are thrify, the Hydrox is even worse. In fact, I'm not entirely convinced that this phonic similarity to the mythical Hydra is unintentional. Oh yes, it's a threat! If you cut off the head of the Oreo, another will grow in its place: Drier! Waxier! Bitterer!
The widespread public deception has gone on too long, and it's high time to break the silence. Oreo-haters, sing it loud and proud! ¶ 11:30 PM
There--I said it. Oreos suck because:
1) The outside part coats your teeth with dark brown goop.
2) The icing centers are waxy and leave a film on the roof of your mouth.
3) They really need milk to be good at all.
4) #3 doesn't help the lactarded.
5) What is the flavor here? Let's be honest. Baker's chocolate? Dirt?
If you are thrify, the Hydrox is even worse. In fact, I'm not entirely convinced that this phonic similarity to the mythical Hydra is unintentional. Oh yes, it's a threat! If you cut off the head of the Oreo, another will grow in its place: Drier! Waxier! Bitterer!
The widespread public deception has gone on too long, and it's high time to break the silence. Oreo-haters, sing it loud and proud! ¶ 11:30 PM
Comments:
<< Home
I like them but they do leave evil crud on your teeth. It's best to save some milk to gargle with, which is well, frankly, kind of disgusting.
Really, all either one of those is is a fake-o freeze-dried moon pie. Or maybe an inauthentic whoopie pie, which is way better and looks much more like an Oreo.
Oh, and don't forget the trans fat! Of course, Paul Newman himself makes a version of these dried-up cookies that contains no such evil, so maybe it is OK...
I still vote for 'shmallows twixt chocolate cookies.
Post a Comment
Oh, and don't forget the trans fat! Of course, Paul Newman himself makes a version of these dried-up cookies that contains no such evil, so maybe it is OK...
I still vote for 'shmallows twixt chocolate cookies.
<< Home
