Another Theory to Help You with Your Life
The Oreo is a bad cookie.
There--I said it. Oreos suck because:
1) The outside part coats your teeth with dark brown goop.
2) The icing centers are waxy and leave a film on the roof of your mouth.
3) They really need milk to be good at all.
4) #3 doesn't help the lactarded.
5) What is the flavor here? Let's be honest. Baker's chocolate? Dirt?
If you are thrify, the Hydrox is even worse. In fact, I'm not entirely convinced that this phonic similarity to the mythical Hydra
is unintentional. Oh yes, it's a threat! If you cut off the head of the Oreo, another will grow in its place: Drier! Waxier! Bitterer!
The widespread public deception has gone on too long, and it's high time to break the silence. Oreo-haters, sing it loud and proud!