Dear Jon Stewart,
Please stop talking.
Just for a second. I love you, I really do. I mean, I really, honest-to-god, Teen Bop poster taped to the wall, informed about your former job at the Quaker Bridge Mall, angry when you got married love you. But you are seriously bad at your job.
Not the SNL-esque fake news anchor part of your job. That part is really great. Keep it up!
But the interviewing. My god Jon, when you are interviewing people you've got to let them talk. Ask a question that doesn't require a great deal of lead-in or sermonizing on your part, then... stop talking. Seriously, I mean it. It's their turn to talk. After the question, listen.
When you first started working there (which was around the time I first started working there, so I felt our kinship), I gave you some slack, because you were new and nervous and not used to interviewing. But what has it been, eight, nine seasons? I mean it, the chattering through these 'interview' segments while your interviewee laughs appreciatively at your jokes has long grown old. You are starting to sound like as much of a dick as Colbert does, and he's trying to do that.
Don't be afraid, Jon. If you ask a good question, they'll have something to say. Even if they have to take a breath first, and sound doesn't immediately come out, that doesn't mean it's your turn again.
Love (still, regardless),