In Her Shell
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
  Shocking Nature Secrets Revealed

I went for a walk in the woods with my mom today. We walked about 2 miles, had lunch, and walked back. It was nice, but buggy, since we were mostly walking along a river. We saw an old grist mill, a bunch of tiny frogs (like the size of my thumbnail), ate some wild raspberries that we found along the path, and generally enjoyed the scenery.

However. I was shocked when we came across some goose poop on the trail, and there were two butterflies, eating it! OK, I couldn't exactly tell what they were doing with it, because they fluttered away in shame and embarassment as soon as we rounded the corner, but I stayed and watched them (they were pretty--yellow and brownish-black), and they totally came right back and landed on the poop again! How undignified.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
  Sad Celebrity News
Estelle Getty, Golden Girl, dies at 84

Shia LeBeouf, who was actually really funny on Disney's Even Stevens, arrested for DUI
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I often feel like I'm wearing a costume. Not in a metaphorical, "we all have a face that we hide away forever" kind of way, but literally. Maybe it comes from my community theatre upbringing.

Today as I was leaving for the Farmer's Market I noted that I was wearing one of my mother's hand-me-down wrap skirts, an orange tank top, a head scarf, and flip flops. The Hippie Costume. Whenever I go to the gym (not that often, in fits and starts really) I put on the Jock Costume: sports bra, ankle socks, sneakers, tight tank and some form of sweatpants. When I wear my What Would Joan Jett Do (W.W.J.J.D?) t-shirt with green pants and a belt, that is my Hipster Costume. The button-down shirts and slacks I wear 10 months out of the year is my Teacher Costume, although that has gotten more and more erratic since I got tenure.

I don't think I'm necessarily trying to fool anyone with these costumes; I think they all represent facets of my personality and I've always enjoyed playing Dress Up. An actor friend once posited that the reason many women get so hyped up about their traditional weddings and wedding dresses is because they get to Dress Up and be the Center of Attention, and that if you've been on stage a fair amount, of course your wedding is still exciting and wonderful, but it doesn't so much need to be All About the Bride.

I went to a wedding last night where no one was in costume. We were all dressed up, including the bride and groom, but they are just such wonderful, down to earth people, and so in love, and so loveable, and their ceremony and reception absolutely reflected that. They looked beautiful, but absolutely like themselves.
Monday, July 14, 2008
  How Sitting At A Red Light Can Make One Philosophical
Two teenagers in a car pulled up behind me at a red light, laughing. Looking in the rearview mirror, I suddenly remembered what that felt like--to suddenly have a driver's license, to be able to go pick up a friend and go where we wanted to go, to exist separately from our parents. I felt so intensely proud of everything about my first car, from its sticky vinyl seats to its ugly boxiness to its tendency to overheat. It represented my independence, of course, but also me, for the first time moving on my own.

I felt that way again during my first semester of college. Everything in the dorm was a revelation; I remember holding a package of cookies in my hand and thinking about how I was eating them for dinner, how no one was going to stop me. Sitting in the hallway at three in the morning, hands pressed to the cheap scratchy carpet, looking around at the diverse crowd I was sharing intimate details with, I was exhilarated with ownership over my place in the world.

When I finally started teaching after bouncing from job to job and town to town, I moved into my very own apartment. Every decision in that apartment was mine, from when to wash the dishes (when I ran out of clean ones) to where to put the furniture to how loud to play which music. It overlooked a parking lot and smelled like fresh paint and cost way too much, but it belonged to me. Again I had that tingly feeling of awareness of the boundaries of my own body, the incredible luck I had to be where I was, and the energy sparking from the ends of my fingers. Even though I still feel lucky and I still feel happy, it's been a while since I've had that dizzy feeling of possibility and awe. I miss it.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
  Dream Blogging
I dreamed last night that I was working on an elaborate blog post about a new MTV ad campaign.

It began when I saw an ad on TV for a new MTV show (or possibly new trend; it was unclear, plus I don't actually have cable in real life) about girls doing sumo wrestling. The main character was stick-thin with long blond hair (some realism) and the tagline was something like, "The latest distraction that boys like!"

I was so dedicated to this post that I toted my laptop to MTV studios in New York to write it as I did research on the set of the half hour show that was created solely to promote this female sumo wrestling trend. I remember making a note on my laptop that the show also starred "the guy who plays Peter's brother on Heroes." Who during this dream I found very hot.

As I was leaving the building, totally disgusted by what I saw, I stopped at the snack counter in the lobby. The slightly dotty old woman behind the counter seemed to think I was a regular there, and apologized because the high-powered executive lady in line in front of me had bought every last homemade chocolate frosted cupcake she had. She offered to mush a big chocolate chip cookie into a muffin tin for me, and I accepted. On the way out another woman asked me where I had gotten it.

Out on the sidewalk, I realized that I was way, way uptown, so far uptown that it looked totally suburban, and I would have to walk all the way down to Penn Station. Also I was on Fifth Avenue, and was trying to decide when to cut over to Eighth. I felt unsafe and wanted to cut over in a more populated area.

As I approached the corner, everyone who passed me was wearing an outlandish hat. I realized that I might miss my train, and started to run.

My Photo

In a move that seems to amuse only me, I pull lines from the blogs I hit on the Next Blog button, and arrange them into found poem form.

April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / August 2010 / April 2011 /

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