Dear Computer,
I hate to say this, but you are crowding me.

We've been together about a year and a half now, my second-most serious relationship. I realize that the problems I've had with other computers are not your fault. I know I've been oversensitive at times, becoming angry with you whenever I thought you might freeze or had a weird pop-up. I know you are not my last computer, and I'm sorry for punishing you for sour relationships I've had in the past. That's my issue, not yours.

It's just that you are becoming too needy. I don't want to update SpamKiller, so please stop asking me. I'm also happy with the Java I have, and I don't mean to be rude, but the phrase "new updates" is redundant. Messages about Configuration Software are over my head and, frankly, I find them condescending.

What happened to the days when I could just turn you on and you were ready to go? We were such a team then. Everything was new and exciting; I felt like there was so much to know about you, and every new surprise was a delight.

But now... now you are constantly nagging me to update this, download that. Things have become routine--check e-mail, read news, listen to iTunes, shut down. I've been busy lately, distracted. Maybe I'm not giving you what you need either.

I need some space.

Of course I still love you. Don't be like that.  ¶ 10:56 PM