The Electric Slide Makes Me Want To Kill Myself
I've narrowed it down to the following depressing reasons:The Tempo
. It is just slow enough to grind on forever. I suppose it is designed to minimize heel and toe injuries (I feel you, Grant
), but even a half-beat faster would make this less of a death march.The Unpleasant Association with the Eighties
. British New Wave, "Video Killed the Radio Star," Cyndi Lauper = Good. AquaNet, Buster Poindexter, Debbie Gibson = Bad. I know I may take some flak for that last Debbie Gibson comment. So be it.That Enthusiastic Sweaty Old Guy in the Back
. He doesn't know it. He's not going to know it. But he's had a few drinks, and by gosh, he's going to try it!That Lady Who Falls
. Ouch. She's laughing it off now, but that's just the pride talking. It's going to leave a mark.The Lack of Irony
. I heart irony. Weddings are ironic, don't you think? So should be the dancing. YMCA dancers throw themselves into it with full awareness, or maybe despite full awareness, of the cheese factor. The Electric Sliders do not see the cheese. Don't go up there if you are going to f* around.