Reasons Easter Is Uncool*
1. Easter egg hunts. What hunt? Big matted field with tufts of hay "hiding" some crappy pieces of plastic. If you are small and passive, you will be pushed down and trampled by the other children.
2. Scariest ghost story ever.
3. Chocolate Easter bunnies = depressing.
4. Pastel colors. Unflattering and everywhere.
5. Church-related discomforts: Ash Wednesday (black smudges on the foreheads of my friends); Palm Sunday (cloying smell); Lent (unexplained).*To a child at least; that's the last time I remember celebrating it.