Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wedding Porn
I went all day yesterday without saying anything about weddings. I made a promise to myself. Even though our wedding is likely a year and a half away, and we said we would "just enjoy being engaged for a while," Anthemsled recently realized that I already have more links bookmarked under a folder marked "Wedding Stuff" than he has bookmarked links total.
It had gotten so bad a couple of days ago that I was tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep because wedding-related questions or concerns would not go away. I experienced a similar phenomenon when we were looking for a house. Prior to that, I hadn't had such trouble sleeping since the early 90s, when I was playing too much Tetris and the little pieces kept falling behind my eyelids every time I closed my eyes.
A friend recently gave me a copy of something called Wedding Sites and Services for our area. It is filled with the kind of reception halls that I grew to loathe during my career as a bridesmaid. I had fun looking through it and reading silly things aloud, but then I got to an article titled, "Looking Gorgeous on your Wedding Day," by Irina Feygin, BA. It includes such tips as, "Prepare your lips by using lip balm for two weeks before the wedding, three times a day and overnight--including the morning of your wedding day, when you should keep re-applying it until the makeup artist applies lip color," and "To look your best for your wedding day, you have to start preparing your skin in advance." Another favorite: "Heavy makeup will make you look not like a bride, but like a Las Vegas showgirl. You don't want that to happen."
I started to feel sick. I can see through the bullshit, for the most part, but I can also see how it can become oppressive.
"Wedding Porn" is the heading on one website for pages and pages of wedding pictures--on this site, they are unique and/or themed. Life-affirming porn, that doesn't degrade anyone or create unrealistic, hurtful expectations. Even so, I'm staying away from the obsession. For a few days. ¶ 10:54 AM
It had gotten so bad a couple of days ago that I was tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep because wedding-related questions or concerns would not go away. I experienced a similar phenomenon when we were looking for a house. Prior to that, I hadn't had such trouble sleeping since the early 90s, when I was playing too much Tetris and the little pieces kept falling behind my eyelids every time I closed my eyes.
A friend recently gave me a copy of something called Wedding Sites and Services for our area. It is filled with the kind of reception halls that I grew to loathe during my career as a bridesmaid. I had fun looking through it and reading silly things aloud, but then I got to an article titled, "Looking Gorgeous on your Wedding Day," by Irina Feygin, BA. It includes such tips as, "Prepare your lips by using lip balm for two weeks before the wedding, three times a day and overnight--including the morning of your wedding day, when you should keep re-applying it until the makeup artist applies lip color," and "To look your best for your wedding day, you have to start preparing your skin in advance." Another favorite: "Heavy makeup will make you look not like a bride, but like a Las Vegas showgirl. You don't want that to happen."
I started to feel sick. I can see through the bullshit, for the most part, but I can also see how it can become oppressive.
"Wedding Porn" is the heading on one website for pages and pages of wedding pictures--on this site, they are unique and/or themed. Life-affirming porn, that doesn't degrade anyone or create unrealistic, hurtful expectations. Even so, I'm staying away from the obsession. For a few days. ¶ 10:54 AM
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I'm with Dale. My brother was happily married in the chapel at Caesar's Palace, and fellow blogger Splotchy got married to my wife's niece in a fabulous "Blue Hawaii" themed Elvis wedding at the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel.
I was wondering what you were going to do about the bridesmaid dilemma, seeing as how you'd retired and all.
You mock this shit, but seriously, do you want a huge pimple on your wedding day? No. Do you want crusty lips when you have to kiss people all day? No. So take care of your skin and wear lip balm. I don't think that there is anything wrong with wanting to look your best when there will be photographic evidence to haunt you forever.
And personally,if I were ever to get married, I would want to look at much like a Vegas showgirl as possible, but that's just me.
I don't mind the make-up stuff so much, what makes me crazy are the Bridezillas who think that because they are getting married they have carte blanche to run everyone else's lives too. making their mother's go on diets, expecting multiple showers, that sort of thing. But somehow I don't think you'll do that.
And personally,if I were ever to get married, I would want to look at much like a Vegas showgirl as possible, but that's just me.
I don't mind the make-up stuff so much, what makes me crazy are the Bridezillas who think that because they are getting married they have carte blanche to run everyone else's lives too. making their mother's go on diets, expecting multiple showers, that sort of thing. But somehow I don't think you'll do that.
Dale and Bubs: Believe me when I say I'm considering it.
HB: It was A&P, and I had a rep to uphold there. I don't care what those CVS bastards think.
JAG: Thanks. I decided that I'm not doing anything resembling planning until at least after my (our) birthday.
CP: There will be NO mandatory dress or mandatory dancing or mandatory anything (except attendance) for my ladies.
Lu: That's true, but did the writer of the article really need to advertise her BA in order to tell me this? Re: bridezillian behavior, see above to CP. I think the biggest danger for me is going catatonic from too much sensory input with the damn planning.
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HB: It was A&P, and I had a rep to uphold there. I don't care what those CVS bastards think.
JAG: Thanks. I decided that I'm not doing anything resembling planning until at least after my (our) birthday.
CP: There will be NO mandatory dress or mandatory dancing or mandatory anything (except attendance) for my ladies.
Lu: That's true, but did the writer of the article really need to advertise her BA in order to tell me this? Re: bridezillian behavior, see above to CP. I think the biggest danger for me is going catatonic from too much sensory input with the damn planning.
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