In Her Shell
Saturday, July 22, 2006
  I Feel You, Nancy Kerrigan

I have been pulled over by a cop four times now, and I always get a ticket. Always! This time it was for rolling through a Stop sign, and the cop's cuteness and his choice of "Careless Driving" instead of "Failure to stop" on the ticket and his babbling about how I could appear in court and plea down the points and his apologetic justifications about how it is a dangerous corner and a lot of people get hit there so I should really be more careful did little to mollify me because I always get a ticket!

I am very polite but I do not cry on cue. I can't even bring myself to look scared. My roommate managed to get stopped in the same spot for speeding and rolled away without a ticket. Who are all of these people who get so-called "warnings" and how do they do it?

Why God. Why.
I think it has something to do with short skirts and big smiles.
I think Monica Lewinsky might know.
It's one of those girl games you think are demeaning.

Smile, look stupid, act dumb.
Be a baby-faced woman pulled over by a male cop. That's according to research by Brandeis Univ. psychologist Leslie Zebrowitz. You look vulnerable and trustworthy and will therefore send the message that you didn't speed intentionally and won't do it again. If you're not baby-faced, figure out how to cry at will. That might produce the same effect, but it hasn't been empirically verified. Anecdotally speaking, I can say that being young, pretty, and tearful got me a warning 2/2. I still intentionally speed.
Sorry about the ticket. Getting one always sucks.

Back when I still wrote speeding tickets, I was taught by my training officer to ALWAYS write the good-looking girls, so they have to show up for court and all your buddies can see them.

For what it's worth, I never gave breaks to girls who flirted. I felt insulted. Harried moms and working stiffs got breaks, not chicks who showed leg or unbuttoned the top few buttons on the blouse.
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